Saving Amy by Nicola Haken

Eighteen year old Amy’s surname may be Hope, but her life contains anything but. She drinks, she sleeps around, she cuts… anything to help her escape the agonising existence growing up between her mother’s drunken wails and her father’s fists. But nothing works. There is no escape. And Amy wants out…
Enter Richard Lewis – the doctor responsible for saving Amy’s life after her drink and drug-fuelled suicide attempt. Thanks to his own hidden demons, Richard is drawn to Amy and her situation, and despite the incessant warnings from both his own mind and his jealous ex-lover Joanna, he feels compelled to help her.
But how will Amy feel when she discovers Richard’s attachment to her is born out of his own guilt? He was her last resort – her last chance at being saved. Can anybody save Amy, or has she finally reached the end of a very long, torturous road?
(Not recommended for younger readers due to language, scenes of self-harm and sexual content)

My Thoughts

I really need to stop agreeing to read books that like to take my heart out, squeeze it and then just completely shatter it. 

The sad thing is I enjoy it.. I enjoy it, a lot... So what does that say about me??? Probably that I like really good books (maybe?)..

Whatever.. I knew this book was going to be twisted, dark, and make me completely ache with emotions from the very beginning and I couldn't have been happier that I got to read it

Amelia (Amy) is a very fucked up young lady. She has been beaten almost every damn day of her life by a man that is supposed to love her and protect her, all while her mother watches in silence when the fists connect with Amy's body. 

She tries to cope by using alcohol, drugs, and sex to escape. They give her a little reprieve but it is never enough, especially when she has to return to the hell she is living in.

One night Amy decides to try coke for the first time and it makes her feel elated, floating, escaping. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) she ends up passed out in the middle of the sidewalk in an unknown place. You know this is a book when she wakes up and happens to be sleeping in a bed, in a very swanky apartment, that is twice the size of her home. 

This is where we meet Dr. Dick.. I mean Dr. Delicious errr Richard

Richard ends up finding her on the sidewalk and saves her (foreshadowing maybe?), brings her back to his home and lets Amy sleep it off. When Amy wakes up she is beyond scared and ungrateful that this lovely doctor just saved her life. She ends up leaving without barely saying thanks to him or learning his name. 

Time passes and Amy is worse than before, she becomes addicted to the drugs, and addicted to the fast spiral she's spinning in while she is high. She never wants to NOT be high, it hurts too much to feel and she just doesn't want to feel anymore. She cuts to relieve the pain buried deep inside her, to release the pain she feels, she has to watch herself bleed so she can SEE the pain leaving her body. 

(The author does a really good job in portraying the way a cutter thinks and feels, I am glad she did her research). 

"Anything had to be better than living here between my mother's drunken wails and my father's fists"

Amy then feels that cutting isn't enough, she wants it all to end, to be able to leave on her own terms rather than on her father's. She jumps (literally) and just hopes she finds peace when she lands. 

She doesn't...

she ends up in the hospital where of course Dr. Delicious works and as fate would have it he is the one to save her again. 

Since Amy didn't know Richard was a Dr. or even know his name before, she is surprised to find him tending to her.

While in the hospital recovering, she starts to notice Richard and how amazingly attractive, attentive, and how her stomach heaves with a full force of bats when he touches her. She can't explain this instant attraction to him and why she feels like her insides are a fluttery mess when he is around, she never felt that way before...ever. But she knows she isn't good enough for him, she is a hot mess and well.. he's a doctor. 

What Amy doesn't know is Richard isn't perfect either, he has demons too and when he looks at Amy he sees something he can't put his finger on but he needs to know what is behind those eyes..

But can he save her? Can she save him? Can they save each other? How can a relationship work when he is damn near ten years older than her? What the heck would they have in common?

These are all questions I asked myself..

 I was put off that he was ten years older.. 

It's a lil much, especially since she is such a baby herself and just turned 18 

(I think the author should have made her a little older) 

BUT there is something between them that doesn't seem to matter.. I forgot about all these questions and just enjoyed the ride I was on while reading. 

I really loved the characters, the drama, setting, and the emotions that it pulled out of me. I was high/low/in between and it was intense, hanging on the edge of my seat intense. I couldn't figure out which way I wanted this book to go, all I knew was I wanted it to end in a HEA but did it?

 I knew for sure the author wasn't done throwing punches at me and not only was Amy's past so dark I could barely see but she discovers something that throws a curve ball into all of this and makes it just plain crazy.. 

I swooned my freaking pants off, I got teary eyed, and I just felt so bad for Amy and her life and I was rooting for her and Richard from the very beginning. 

Their relationship built, there was nothing rushed about it. Richard's love for her was ocean deep, he picked her up when she was down, loved her better than anyone else and never gave up trying to get past her defenses so she could accept his love.

"Everything  you consider to be wrong with you are just the results of you trying to be strong for too long - trying to cope alone for too long. Don't you think it's amazing that after everything you've been through - the violence, the fear, the isolation... you can still do this? He motioned his hands over our entangled bodies. That you can still feel? Still trust? Because I sure as hell think it's a miracle. I think you're a miracle"
(that's some swoon-worthy shit and a lot more where that came from)

I was laughing, crying, and smiling for all the good but when it was bad I was cringing, turning the pages eagerly, and waiting for the roller coaster to be over. I wasn't sure where the roller coaster in this book was going to leave me, but I was enjoying every last bump and twirl.  

I give this book a solid 4.5/5 and I suggest getting this book and devouring it!!

About the author:

Nicola lives in Rochdale, England with her husband and four children. She has recently released her second novel "Saving Amy" and is currently working on her latest book due to be released in October. When she is not busy playing with her imaginary book friends (or talking about them with real life friends!) she can usually be found studying or carrying out her ordinary mum/housewife/all round slave duties!

Stalk her:

Facebook

Goodreads

Twitter I.D. @NicolaHaken

Links to her book

NOOK USERS

Elite by Rachel Van Dyken

I got approved to read this book from Netgalley and Forever (Grand Central Publishing).. gaaahhh it was so great!!

For Tracey Rooks, life with her grandparents on a Wyoming farm has always been simple. But after her grandmother's death, Tracey is all her grandfather has. So when Eagle Elite University announces its annual scholarship lottery, Tracey jumps at the opportunity to secure their future and enters. She isn't expecting much-but then she wins. And life as she knows it will never be same . . .

The students at Eagle Elite are unlike any she's ever met . . . and they refuse to make things easy for her. There's Nixon, gorgeous, irresistible, and leader of a group that everyone fears: The Elect. Their rules are simple. 

1. Do not touch The Elect. 2. Do not look at The Elect. 3. Do not speak to The Elect. 

No matter how hard she tries to stay away, The Elect are always around her and it isn't long until she finds out the reason why they keep their friends close and their enemies even closer. She just didn't realize she was the enemy -- until it was too late. 

My Thoughts

Ok so I have to admit that while reading this I kept thinking there was going to be something paranormal going on.. I just KNEW it, reading the description I had a feeling that it was going to be about vampires, aliens, monsters, SOMETHING because I mean the Elect just sounds like something paranormal.. then I get to the middle and I am going huh definitely NOT paranormal but the book is just as magical..

When we first meet the main character, she is on her way to a college that she was accepted too by winning the lottery. No, not the actual lottery but it is harder to win than the real lottery. This college is full of overly privileged children who get a kick out of making other people's lives a living hell, in order to make them feel better about themselves. 

At first, while reading this, it rubbed me the wrong way, colleges weren't like this and it felt more like high school than college because bitches are bitches but they aren't that catty in college. Most people act mature and leave high school drama in high school. 

But when I really thought about it, I figured if this prestigious school was full of the spawn of the rich and famous then of course there was going to be high school drama going on. 

I immediately liked Tracey as soon as she was introduced. She was sweet, caring, sarcastic and everything a good main character is. She also grew up in this book, started to stand up for herself and it was an exciting transformation to see from the beginning..

Nixon is my favorite type of book boyfriend, an asshole with a heart. 

I am such a sucker for a leading man that will irritate the shit out of me but will also make my panties swoon from the words that come out of his mouth. 

That is what Nixon did, he was a huge asshole but damn if he didn't have a heart to make up for it. 

Tracey was instantly attracted to him, I mean she did say that he looked like Channing Tatum with longer hair 

"Why did he have to be so beautiful? And why did his touch make me want to sell my soul?"

(yummilicous I would seriously hump his leg).

When Tracey and Nixon are introduced, he of course, brings out his asshole charm to tell Tracey about the rules of the Elect and to put Tracey in her place as soon as possible. 

 That went over as well as expected, she pretty much told him to fuck off and I am pretty sure he fell in love with her right there on the spot. 

While Tracey is at school, her roommate Monroe, happens to be the sister of the "spawn of satan" aka Nixon and at first I thought she was going to be a bitch because the rest of the school acted that way but she is pretty kick ass and my second favorite female character in the book. 

Monroe sticks to Tracey's side and looks out for her, introduces her to her world and helps her adjust to the school in all it's grandiose. 

Tracey is always targeted at school because she is new and Nixon and his goons have made it their mission to make her life hell because she doesn't like to follow the rules.. 

But then something shifts and changes and Nixon is now trying to protect her, he knows the secret that will destroy Tracey's world and yet he wants nothing more than to protect her from the heartbreak. He tries to stay away from her and keep his distance but he ends up crushing himself and Tracey.

I was weeping and crushed, I wanted to punch and kick Nixon's face but at the same time I knew he had to be doing this for a reason..Ugh 

"I love you, Trace. I always have. Just remember that okay? Hold on to it. No matter what I say or what I do... and trust me, I'll do some terrible things. Just know. I love you. With every fiber of my being"

As the book continues and comes to the big climax and plot reveal, I am already salivating about the relationship between Nixon and Tracey. I am so full of angst and lust that it is really hard to even concentrate on where the book is headed. 

All of a sudden I almost didn't want to know what Tracey is and her true identity because I just know, KNOW without a doubt that it is going to rock her world. 

And boy does her world get ROCKED

(and not even by Nixon either, unfortunately hummpphh).

Everything she has ever known is suddenly unknown, the responsibilities that her family has is huge and complicated, and she is the center of it all. 

They have enemies and of course Tracey is the number one target so it would have been almost better that she was left in the dark..ALMOST

Everyone is trying to protect her from every angle and its that protection that leads to the end where shit gets SERIOUS and BAM the book ends.. 

SIGH

Just 

Siiiiigh

It's not a cliffhanger per say but you are left craving the next installment like it is a drug and you want to know what happens and you want to know NOW!! 

The only thing that I am praying for is that the author doesn't turn the next book into a huge love triangle.. 
I don't think my nerves could take it with everything else that is going on. 

The book series is already exciting as it is and the love triangle will probably cause me to fall over dead from angst!!! 

This book was really good, well-written, well-rounded characters and I was entertained plus intrigued from the very beginning. BUT it was confusing at first, it gets better and I understood later, I just wish the "secret" would have been revealed a little sooner. Also even though I thought a college full of rich spawn would be catty, it still didn't seem very realistic. 

Although, that is what a book is suppose to do, alter my reality, so I say this is a mix of good and bad

The romance was far from rushed, it built to the point of explosion, I was panting and wanting Nixon and Tracey to just rip their clothes off and do it to each other rough, hard, fast, slow...

 I didn't care just as long as they do it so I could experience it too.

I swooned, laughed, teared up, was outraged, on the edge of my seat.. 

Shit just gets exciting and when it ends I wanted to read the fuck out of the next one ASAP
I honestly didn't think I would enjoy this one as much as I did but I really, really liked it. It definitely wasn't boring and I can't wait for the next one.

I give this book a 4/5 and I can't freaking wait to see what is going to happen... 

BUT PLEASE PLEASE RACHEL DON'T Turn this exciting series into a love triangle, I am BEGGING you!!!! 

I can't take it!! 

If you want to get it for yourself here are the links:

NOOK users

TeaSeR TuEsDaY!!!!

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by MizB at Should Be Reading. 

Here is how this works:

• Grab your current read. 
• Open to a random page. 
• Share two “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page, post the page number or location.
• Be careful not to include any spoilers so you do not ruin the book for others. 
• Make sure to add the title of the book and the author so others can enjoy the book as welll...
• Remember it is meant to TEASE not 

If you follow me you already know what I have been reading lately so 

I decided to do a special teaser from Collide by Gail McHugh.. 

And of course I had to do:

The BEST dinner rehearsal SPEECH.. EVER!!!

*Giggles* I freaking want to have Gavin babies!!! 

Facade by Nyrae Dawn

I received this book as an ARC from NetGalley and Forever (Grand Central Publishing).. 
And boy did I just <3 this second book..

Can love save them?
After her father commits a crime that shatters her family, eighteen-year-old Delaney Cross is tired of pretending everything is all right. Packing up her car, she sets out to find the people her father hurt. Her search leads her to places she’s never been—and into the arms of Adrian Westfall.
To the outside world, Adrian is a sexy, charming ladies’ man. But his playboy persona is just an act. Secretly his soul is tortured by a memory too painful to share. Only Delaney seems to see through his façade to the real man underneath. And for the first time in his life, Adrian feels he can begin to open up about his past.
Together, Adrian and Delaney share a passionate love they never expected to find. Yet both still harbor their own secrets. When the dark truth is finally revealed, will it bring them closer together—or tear them apart forever?

My Thoughts

So Delaney and Adrian are two hot messes full of remorse, guilt, sadness, secrets, ghosts etc, etc, etc.. 

Adrian was a character we met in Charade (the first book in The Game Series) this book is a standalone and can be read without reading the first one but to get a better sense of Adrian's character through other people's eyes, you probably should read the first one, first. 

He seemed like the regular playboy stoner friend that is fun to party with but not to get close enough too, he was too shut off for that to happen. What people didn't know was he had secrets that were eating him alive. Throughout the book we know what happened with him and why he is the way he is but it isn't until towards the end that a curve ball is thrown at you that you didn't expect and you are left in a with a gut-wrenching revelation. 

Delaney was the type of girl that tried to fix everyone's problems, she liked to shoulder the burden and she forgave easily even when people didn't deserve it. She set out on a journey with her brother in order to right the wrongs that her family caused, which leads her to the same place as Adrian. She notices his demons and her inner ghosts call out to him and all she wants to do is fix his demons while combating hers at the same time.

"He's broken, Maddy. I don't know how I know it, but I do"

Adrian didn't expect to start caring for this "little ghost" but he sees something in her and just like with her, they call out to him to try and help heal her. Their romance is frustratingly sweet but at the same time you are thinking that the secrets that Delaney needs to tell Adrian are way too big for her to keep from him and you are sighing, swooning, and then you remember what she needs to do and you are yelling at her for being so careless.. 

"Or it might be the ghosts in her eyes. The dark shadows that lurk there and make me wonder what's chasing her when the lights go out"

The characters are very likable in this book, I loved every single one of them, they were believable and real, like they could be your best friend and you'd never think twice about it. 

The story was told in two POV's, Adrian and Delaney's, it was easy to follow along and I wasn't left confused on what was going on.

The book was really well-written and it flowed nicely but it was slow at first and I could easily put it down until a certain part where I wouldn't put it down, at all. 

The ending was ok, I would have liked to see if Delaney's mom ever got her head out of her ass and even with the Epilogue I felt like their story needed a little more but I am happy with how it ended because that might mean more about them in the future (I know, I know I am a selfish book trollop ;)

I really enjoyed this book and the story of Delaney and Adrian, they were sweet and forgiving and it just made me feel all warm and fuzzy but at the same time it had the right amount of angst and gut wrenching moments that left you biting your nails to see what was going to happen next. 

Both characters grew and changed, they weren't the same people at the end as they were in the beginning, they were good apart but better together. They completed one another and saved each other but at the same time they were also stronger apart. They were able to deal with their demons and ghosts on their own without falling apart. 

"Skin to skin

Breath to breath

Touch to feel

Body to soul

But only

To Chase

Away 

Your ghosts"

I give this book a 4/5 

If you want to check it out for yourself here is the link:

Searching for Beautiful by Nyrae Dawn COVER REVEAL

Today Nyrae Dawn and Entangled Teen are revealing the cover for SEARCHING FOR BEAUTIFUL, which releases on March 4, 2014. Also enter below for a paperback of the book or an eBook!

On to the reveal!

Description:

Before, Brynn had a group of best friends, a loving boyfriend, a growing talent for pottery. She had a life. And after…she had none.

When Brynn lost the boyfriend who never loved her, the friends who feel she betrayed their trust, and the new life just beginning to grow inside her, she believes her future is as empty as her body. But then Christian, the boy next door, starts coming around. Playing his guitar and pushing her to create art once more. She meets some new friends at the local community center, plus even gets her dad to look her in the eye again…sort of.

But can Brynn open up her heart to truly find her life’s own beauty, when living for the after means letting go of the before?

Goodreads/Amazon/Barnes & Noble/

Excerpt:

Christian looks at me. I wait for a smart-aleck reply or a smile but get neither. Just his blue eyes sucking me in like a whirlpool. “That’s what I thought you would say. So you just have to keep fighting for it. Keep fighting to get it back.”

    My eyes won’t leave his and his won’t leave mine. And he’s cute. God, he’s so cute, I just want to focus on his cuteness. I want that to be all that matters. When his hand comes up and cups my cheek, I gasp. He brushes his thumb under my eye and licks his lips and I’m frozen and on fire and close to having a heart attack and anxious all at the same time.

    Slowly, he leans forward and I know he’s giving me time. And my heart is leaping and I want to feel his lips. This is Christian. The boy who asked me to dance. The boy I ran to my mom about and told her that I loved. And now he’s my friend. The first person who has made me feel normal since everything happened.

    But I’m so scared. Scared of messing it up. Scared he’ll decide he doesn’t want me. Scared of losing him. Of getting hurt.

    He gets closer and I smell his sweet, sugary scent. See his mouth and wet lips and that hair I want to touch.

    See the one person besides Emery who I have. The one person I can’t lose. “Wait,” I say and Christian stops moving. He’s still close. So very, very close that his lips are only an inch away from mine. “I’m scared,” I admit.

    “I won’t hurt you.”

    And I swear a part of me believes him. Maybe all of me. But how do I know if that’s the right decision or not?

    He runs his hand down my face and touches my hair. Love that he’s not nervous to do it the way I am with him and I watch his fingers, brown against my red hair.

    “Go out with me, Bryntastic. Let’s go do something this weekend. Don’t keep running. I won’t even try to kiss you again unless you tell me to. Or I’ll wait for you to do it. Just let go. Live.”

    His words are what I want. I want them so badly and they sound so perfect that it’s hard not to just scream, “Yes!” right now. “Why?” I ask him. “Why are you so nice to me?”

    I love his strength. Love that he doesn’t even hesitates before saying, “Because you were my first crush. Because I used to watch you conqueror anything and used to listen to you laugh with your friends. You were happy and I loved your smile. Because I had to work up the courage to ask you to dance and I did, and then I left and the one thing I missed was that smile. I watched my sister lose hers and watched my family fall apart and when I came back here? I wanted to see your smile again. Because you’re beautiful when you smile and you’ve lost it now. I want you to conquer this because what the hell is the purpose in it all if the first girl I ever danced with loses her smile?”

    I don’t realize I’m crying until Christian wipes my tears. “You think I’m beautiful?”  

(Holy freaking butterflies batman!!!!) 

About the Author

Writing has always been Nyrae Dawn’s passion. There have been times in her life where she wasn’t able to chase that dream the way she desired, but she always found her way back to telling stories.

One of her loves has always been writing about teens. There’s something so fresh and fun about the age that she loves exploring. Her husband says it’s because she doesn’t want to grow up. She doesn’t think that’s such a bad thing and luckily for her, he doesn’t either.

Nyrae gravitates toward character-driven stories. She loves going on emotional journeys with characters whether it be reading or writing. And yes, she’s a total romantic at heart and proud.

Nyrae resides in sunny Southern California with her husband (who still makes her swoon) and her two awesome kids.

When she’s not with her family, you can be pretty sure you’ll find her with a book in her hand or her laptop and an open document in front of her.

She writes for Entangled Publishing, Grand Central Publishing and is self-published.

Nyrae is represented by Jane Dystel of Dystel and Goderich Literary Management.

Website/Twitter/Facebook/Goodreads

GIVEAWAY

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Top 2013 Lady Boner Books..so far...

So I am having a hard (giggles) time narrowing my list down for my all time favorite books so I decided to do a 2013 list, of course some of these books came out last year but I read them this year... 

I think July is a good halfway point and of course there are more books to be read so in December I will update this list

Without Further Ado I give you the books that have given me massive lady boners so far this year.. 

Go and check them out for yourself so we can all talk about the massive erections we get for these books ;)

(In no particular order)

The List:

(in no particular order, they just match the order of the pictures, sort of)

A Matter of Heart (Fate series) by Heather Lyons

A Different Blue by Amy Harmon

Apollyon by Jennifer Armentrout 

Beauty from Pain (Series) by Georgia Cates

Opal (Lux series) by Jennifer Armentrout

Out of Breath (Breathing Series) by Rebecca Donovan

Devoured (Series) by Emily Snow

Elite by Rachel Van Dyken

Left Drowning by Jessica Park 

Wait for You by J. Lynn

The Dark Light (Series) by S.L. Jennings

Sweet Thing by Renee Carlino

Fear of Falling by S.L. Jennings

Inescapable (The Premonition Series) by Amy Bartol

Crush (Crash Series) by Nicole Williams

Losing Hope by Colleen Hoover

Vain by Fisher Amelie 

Falling Into You by Jasinda Wilder

Running on Empty by L.B. Simmons

Sins & Needles by Karina Halle

Reckless Magic by Rachel Higginson

Reckless (Thoughtless series) by S.C. Stephens

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Up To You (The Bad Boys Series) by M. Leighton

The Game Changer (read The Perfect Game first) by J. Sterling

This Girl (Slammed series) by Colleen Hoover

Saving Amy by Nicola Haken

Flat Out Love by Jessica Park

One Tiny Lie by K.A. Tucker

Oh and since these two photos were cropped out they get their own section: 

Walking Disaster
By 
Jamie McGuire


Chocolate Lovers
Series 
by 
Tara Sivec

*Some of these books are apart of a series so make  sure you check out the prior books so you are not reading out of order*