Friday, March 29, 2013

Sex, Snacks, and Comedy.. Chocolate Lovers series...

Explicit words may be used!! 

I would like to start off by saying me and this author needs to become BFFs!!
I never thought I'd find someone with a worse mouth than me.. 
Really if you know me, you know what I mean. 
I keep my posts PG-13ish because I am always afraid I am going to piss off someone because they will be offended by my mouth 
BUT I'd like to say... ehh Fuck it!! 
This series inspired me to be more... explicit with my words

This series starts off with 
Snacks and Seduction
Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he's asleep) toddler a better life. When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after. Warning: contains explicit sex, profanity and enough sarcasm to choke a horse.

Next is 
Futures and Frosting

Carter, Claire and Gavin have formed the perfect little family. Their friends are getting married and everyone is growing up, maturing and ready to face the future. Or are they? From bachelorette party hell, porn addictions, dinner roll baseball and botched wedding proposals to finding out everyone's extended family is chock full of crazy, Carter and Claire begin to question the strength of the ties that bind them. Unfortunately, these ties have nothing to do with fuzzy handcuffs and everything to do with the mounting differences between them. Will their friends make a mess of things with their inappropriate comments and need to know everything, or will they convince the couple that happily-ever-after sometimes really can start with beer pong?

Lastly there is
Trouble and Treats
Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives – well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little. With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren’t on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep. Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the discontented duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple’s lives. In the third and final installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that’s been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they’re having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?

My Thoughts

It is now in my TOP 5 of all time favorite series!! 
Seriously.. it is fucking greaat!!

What made me want to read this series was the Warning label that it came with.. 
I gotta say I was hesitant to read it because I did not like the cover, I am a total book cover whore and I get all judgmental when it comes to book covers. It will either attract or repel me, if it repels me I will still read the reviews and see if it's worth reading or not and
 I am so glad my book cover snobbyness did not get in the way of me reading 
Seduction and Snacks
I don't think I have read anything so funny that causes it me to tinkle a little from laughing so hard (hey NO JUDGEMENT I had a 9lb child that permanently ruined my bladder). 

So Seduction and Snacks starts off with Claire's story on how she got knocked up at a college party. After finding out the one night stand is no where to be found, she is forced to raise a child on her own, giving up her dreams and dropping out of college. After almost five years of raising her son, a coincidence puts her and her one night stand in the same room. 
This whole situation becomes one big coincidence and funny antics that leads to Carter to finally know who Claire is. 
Of course he never forgot Claire, he thought about her every day since that one night stand but had a vague, drunken memory of what she actually looked liked so he didn't realize who she was when he first saw her again. 
The rest of the story is back and forth between Claire and Carter and of course Carter's best friend Drew also falls in love with Claire's best friend Jenny so it becomes a huge group of six-three couples. 
The amazing part of the story was Claire's best friend Liz who not only opens a sex shop for herself but also buys a place big enough for Claire and her chocolate creations.. 
Seduction and Snacks was born. 
The internal monologues with Claire and Carter is probably the best part of this book, along with the friendships that are formed with all three couples. 
OH and can't forget about the loud mouth, swear word saying, rambunctious, Gavin who is Carter and Claire's son. He made the stories even funnier with his mouth and behavior. He reminded me a LOT of my child and other children I have watched in the past! 
Between the funny and outrageous antics that the three couples and Gavin get into, the conversations between all of them, you are left with an aching stomach and pee panties from laughing so hard. 
Oh and lets not forget the totally hot sex scenes.. Those deserve their own praise... 

Futures and Frostings continues with Carter and Claire and it is just as funny, witty, sexy, and wet as Seduction and Snacks
My poor husband kept getting woken up by my laughing and kicked me to another room to read so I wouldn't disturb his beauty rest! 
But he enjoyed the benefits from the sexyness of the book ;). 
Claire and Carter's story finishes in this book but it ends just as awesome as it started!

Trouble and Treats has Claire, Carter and the rest of the gang in it but this time this story is about Drew and Jenny. 
I didn't think this story was going to be as awesome as the other two but I was pleasantly surprised when I laughed just as much as I did with the other two books!
The dialogue is the same and Drew is even funnier than he was in the other two!! 

Tara Sivec puts a funny as HELL and sexy twist to child birth, raising children, marriage, keeping sex spicy, and what happens when your marriage is in trouble. 
Sivec makes it funny and adults can relate whether they are married with children or not. 
I recommend this series to anyone who is 18+ and wants a good laugh about life in general. 

Here are some quotes from all three books:

"Oh, please, like she doesn't know about the smell of meat products wafting from her lady parts. I think she rubs bologna down there to attract men. Lunch meat is her sex pheromone."
Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers #1) (Kindle Locations 1351-1353). 

"Papa says your friends Johnny, Jack and Jose maded you sick. Friends shouldn't do stuff like that, Mommy. If Luke maded me sick, I'd punch him in the nuts!"
 Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers #1) (p. 47).  

Note to self: apologize to Liz for calling her a Sadistic Vagina-Nazi Bitch every time she made a Brazilian wax appointment for me.   Because of her dedication to my who-ha, Carter doesn't have to discover a wildebeest in my pants right now and stop what he's doing to go in search of a weed whacker
 Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers #1) (p. 137).  

“Oh my God.   I take that back.   THIS is the happiest moment of my life.   My son just got a boner for Sopranos,” Carter whispers.
Futures and Frosting (Chocolate Lovers #2) (Kindle Locations 3140-3141). 

“My mom’s not afraid to punch a kid,”
Futures and Frosting (Chocolate Lovers #2) (Kindle Location 1972).  

“My tummy is good.   Papa said I need to drop a deuce and check it for money.   I can poop money!” he says excitedly.
Futures and Frosting (Chocolate Lovers #2) (Kindle Locations 3449-3450).  

“You have no idea what that monster is capable of.   You didn’t see her eyes.   It was like looking into the windows of hell.   I actually felt a chill.   That cat is Satan.   I bet she’s upstairs right now trying to suck the souls out of our kids.
 Troubles and Treats (Chocolate Lovers #3) (Kindle Locations 801-803).  

“The last time you even took a razor to that area was seven months ago.   It is THAT bad.   The day you wanted me to look at your vagina I could see those things trying to jump ship out of the sides of your underwear.   Your twat looked like one of those freaky clowns that’s bald down the middle of its white head with ginormous tufts of hair sprouting out by it’s ears.”
Troubles and Treats (Chocolate Lovers #3) (Kindle Locations 2872-2875). 

Seriously, ghost.   Cut that shit out.   I know you’re there; you don’t need to advertise it.
Keep it down while you ghostly masturbate over there!
Troubles and Treats (Chocolate Lovers #3) (Kindle Location 4163). 

I give all three books from this series 5***** If you want them for your Kindle. Go here to Amazon

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Before You Go (ARC) by Clare James

Ahhh.. I got the honor, privilege, distinction of reviewing an up and coming author's new novel.. 
Have I told you guys lately how much I LOVE getting these emails?? 
Well if you don't know then let me tell ya that it makes me feel excited and humbled that an author would give me this opportunity and trust me enough to give my honest opinion. 
I get giddier then a school girl on the playground talking to her crush!!
Seriously you guys rock my world!!! 

Here is:
 Before You Go by Clare James
Paralyzed by the past and terrified of the future, Tabitha Kelly is broken.

After a public sex scandal at her college, Tabby moves to a new city with a new school, convinced she can start over. But she soon realizes the changes are not enough. Tabby must take action to help her heal and move on from the past.

And though it sounds crazy, she believes a one-night stand is the best way to take back what’s hers. If she can choose where, when, and most importantly, who … maybe she can regain control.

First, she needs a willing participant.

She finds more than that when she meets Noah Adler.

Unfortunately, she can’t go through with it. And when she tries to forget about the plan—and the guy—it becomes impossible.

Noah quickly weaves his way into her new life and her heart. But as he comes dangerously close to discovering her secret, Tabby’s at risk of losing it all.

My Thoughts
Hot cover right??? I think I swooned a little after finally seeing it ;)!!

I really enjoyed this book. It pulled me in from the beginning and I actually finished it the same day I started it. 
Tabby and Noah were both excellent, well thought out characters that weren't rushed into a relationship. 
One thing I can't stand is a fast track relationship..
Meet in the first chapter, saying "I love you" by the third, really irritates me!!!
This relationship started off as a weird friendship turned relationship. 
They got to know each other, became friends first and then started the slow track to becoming a "we". 
AND Let me tell ya the sexual tension between the two characters were HOT and I wanted to scream, JUST DO IT ALREADY!!

Tabby herself is a strong, leading female character who suffers through a traumatizing ordeal pretty much alone and I was left feeling so much sympathy towards her. But she did not let it affect her too much and you get to see her grow as a person towards the end of the book, while you're rooting for her recovery the whole time. 

I LOVED the relationship between Tabby and her father. I don't think there are enough books out there with characters who are close with their parents and even though Tabby felt smothered by her father, I thought it was very sweet that he cared so much about her well-being, especially since her mom was a piece of work. 

I wish there was more of this book. 
I liked the secondary characters almost as much as the main and I wish they were in the book a little more. I also did not like the way the book just ended BUT I was told under good authority that there will be an EPILOGUE in the final version so I will be excited to read that!! 

You should read this book.
 It not only shows how a young women can overcome her traumatizing past but how she can find love again after something that awful happens to her!

I believe that when this book is LIVE on April 8th, YOU guys should pick it up and read it!! 
You will fall in love with Tabby and Noah 
like I did!! 

Snippets from the book:

            “Mmmhmm. I think the universe is trying to tell us something.”             
“Yeah, don’t have odd sexual encounters with strangers.”
 Before You Go ARC v4 (Kindle Locations 1007-1009). 

“But sometimes you need someone or something. Don’t miss out on that because you’re too busy focusing on where you’re going. Sometimes all we have is right here, right now.”
 Before You Go ARC v4 (Kindle Locations 2033-2034). 

"Noah slams the door and whips me around, pushing me against it as his body claims mine. I can feel his need, his desperation. His lips are rough as he nips and bites at my mouth before gliding his tongue inside. Taking control, his hands cup my ass and he quickly lifts me to him."
Before You Go ARC v4 (Kindle Locations 2062-2064). 

"But I have to be in control. I’m not ready to hand over my heart again."  
Before You Go ARC v4 (Kindle Locations 2473-2474). 

Frigid by J. Lynn COVER REVEAL

She's back at it again...
 J. Lynn has written another book and I am so excited for it's release!!! 

I swear with all of the books she writes and releases she must be in a constant state of zombie-ism..Maybe thats why she's so obsessed with everything zombies?? 

BUT anything with the name Jennifer Armentrout or J. Lynn is sure to be AMAZEBALLS... 
Here is the HOT ASS cover for...


Book Information:
For twenty-one-year-old Sydney, being in love with Kyler isn't anything new. They'd been best friends ever since he pushed her down on the playground and she made him eat a mud pie. Somewhere over the years, she fell for him and fell hard. The big problem with that? Kyler puts the 'man' in man-whore. He's never stayed with a girl longer than a few nights, and with it being their last year in college, Syd doesn't want to risk their friendship by declaring her love. 

Kyler has always put Syd on a pedestal that was too high for him to reach. To him, she's perfect and she's everything. But the feelings he has for her, he's always hidden away or focused on any other female. After all, Kyler will always be the poor boy from the wrong side of tracks, and Syd will always be the one girl he can never have.  But when they're stranded together at a posh ski resort due to a massive Nor'easter, there's nothing stopping their red-hot feelings for each other from coming to the surface. Can their friendship survive the attraction? Better yet, can they survive at all? Because as the snow falls, someone is stalking them, and this ski trip may be a life-changer in more ways than one.

Frigid will be available in digital formats on July 30th 2013
Print release of Frigid will be November 5th 2012

J. Lynn, also known as Jennifer L. Armentrout, is a # 1 New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author. She lives in Martinsburg, West Virginia. All the rumors you’ve heard about her state aren’t true. When she’s not hard at work writing. she spends her time reading, working out, watching really bad zombie movies, pretending to write, and hanging out with her husband and her Jack Russel Loki.
Her dreams of becoming an author started in algebra class, where she spent most of her time writing short stories….which explains her dismal grades in math. Jennifer writes young adult paranormal, science fiction, fantasy, and contemporary romance. She is published with Spencer Hill Press, Entangled Teen and Brazen, Disney/Hyperion and Harlequin Teen.
She also writes adult and New Adult romance under the name J. Lynn. She is published by Entangled Brazen and HarperCollins.

If you are not following her on social media.. YOU need to be.. 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Metamorphosis Monday

I had a busy weekend full of reading a new ARC and doing Psychology papers, it was exciting and dull all at the same time.

I read Metamorphosis a while ago and I finally decided what I wanted to say about this book. 

Here is the description from Amazon: 

Scarlett MacGregor has lived a very sheltered life courtesy of her over-the-top controlling parents. Having never been to a co-ed party, much less on a date, Scarlett has relied on her books, her music, and living vicariously through her best friend Evie to keep her sanity as she's patiently awaited her freedom from their rule.
During their first semester away at college, Scarlett and Evie, both avid readers of romance novels, concoct the idea of a contest to find their real-life book boyfriends. Scarlett quickly meets Ashton, Dylan, and later, Mason, and is thrown into a crash course of like, love, and lust. With Evie's help, she must figure out the difference in the three and which one she wants before she ends up without any of them.
Metamorphosis is the story of Scarlett's transformation from a young, naive girl to a strong, mature young woman and her search for self-discovery and true love.

Here is my thoughts on this book:

I was enthralled with this book, it kept me entertained and made me cry buckets of tears. 

Scarlett was a teenager trying to find her way in the world after being under the microscope of her parents her whole life. Every hour of her life was planned out and her parents made sure she did not have a life outside of her hobbies, school, and activities. Scarlett and her best friend Evie moved in with each other for college and I loved Evie. I was so happy that Scarlett had someone that she could talk to about her life, fears, and heartache. 
Scarlett was one of my favorite characters because she might have been sheltered her whole life but she was transforming into a beautiful, confident, women with the help of her friends Evie, Ashton, and later Mason. 
She also had book boyfriends which made me relate to her even more, and love the book even more because it reminded me of ME!! 

Speaking of book boyfriends... HOLY HOT BOYS IN THIS BOOK!! 

I was in love with Mason and Ashton I did not know which one I wanted Scarlett to end up with. They were both sweet, caring, and nice to Scarlett and I didn't know which one was better for her. I loved who she actually picked in the end but I was screaming by the end of this book. 
Mason considered Scarlett his angel and Ashton considered her his butterfly. I really loved the metamorphosis process that the author used in the book, the title fit the book amazingly! I also enjoyed the story of Eros and Psyche, I never heard of it before and it was a beautiful story. 

I was left hanging and I can't wait for the sequel to this book, I will definitely be buying it!!!
Besides the ending, the only thing I did not like was how fast Mason and Scarlett got together and how obsessed he was with her just after one night, it just seemed too unrealistic but it did not take away from the story, it was still just as amazing.

If you have not read this book by now I suggest you doing it NOW! 
Here are some quotes:

Location 2096:
"They might as well call them "vibrator batteries" on the package and come with a sticker that says "Needs a Good Fuck".

Location 2621:
"I hope the rest of you find your angel someday. Just remember, don't let go when you do, even if they try to fly away".

Location 2786:
" You're going to make mistakes and bad decisions, just make sure you learn from them or otherwise the pain, stress, and heartache you endure from them was all for nothing."

Location 4094:
"And if you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time. A song for a heart so big, God wouldn't let it live."

Location 4506:
"There's a Psyche for every Eros, an Elizabeth for every Darcy, an Abby for every Travis" 

Did I mention how I loved that the author referenced Jamie McGuire's Abby and Travis?? Go Erin Noelle for having amazing taste in all things books ;)..

I give this a book a 4.5/5 and if you want to get it from Amazon here is the link:

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Walking Disaster (ARC) = INCREDIBLE..

I would first like to start off by saying THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to Simon and Schuster Publishing and Atria books for picking me and my little ol' blog to read an ARC of Walking Disaster, you guys made my day, week, month, year...LIFE!! NO really, you guys rock my face off and I was so honored to get this privilege!
Ok Back to business.. 

Here is the description from Amazon:

Can you love someone too much?
Travis Maddox learned two things from his mother before she died: Love hard. Fight harder.
In Walking Disaster, the life of Travis is full of fast women, underground gambling, and violence. But just when he thinks he is invincible, Abby Abernathy brings him to his knees.
Every story has two sides. In Beautiful Disaster, Abby had her say. Now it’s time to see the story through Travis’s eyes.

My Thoughts

HOLY HOT COVER!.. I seriously want to lick that butterfly...oh YUM-FesT!! 

This is the second installment of Beautiful Disaster, also written by the talented Jamie McGuire but told from Travis Maddox's POV. You will have to read Beautiful Disaster before reading this one. A lot of people are mad because Jamie McGuire didn't write another book she just wrote the same book told in a different view and some did not want to read the second one when they already know what happened from the first book. 
Let me put your hesitations to rest and let you know that you WILL want to be inside Travis' head.
I just spent two days being inside the mind of Travis Maddox and it was AMAZING. The two books ARE NOT completely the same, yeah a lot of the dialogue between Abby and Travis are the same, but Travis had his own life outside of Abby and you get to see what he thought about everything and fall in love with the story all over again, I know I did!!

This book started off with Travis' memory of when he lost his mom. This sets the mindset of the book and you begin to understand the boy inside the man that is 
Travis Maddox. 

I LOVED/ADORED this book, I think I even loved it more than the first one. We get to see why Travis did the things he did, saw the love from him and his family, and how amazing they are through his eyes. There were a couple scenes that brought tears to my eyes from the amount of love that was between Travis and his father. When I first read Beautiful Disaster I never understood the family dynamics between Travis, his brothers, and his dad. I thought they all just beat the crap out of each other and his dad was just a mean drunk until they had Thanksgiving dinner in Beautiful Disaster, then I was even more confused. Walking Disaster finally settled that for me and I was in awe of all of them. I was in love even more with Travis and loved his family just as much! 

So glad Jamie McGuire is writing about his brothers now, I will definitely be getting those as well!! 

Travis and Abby's relationship was still just as dramatic as the first book, you are still frustrated with both of them but this time you get to see what Travis was thinking the whole time and every scene that Travis was fighting for Abby in Beautiful Disaster, you get to see exactly what was going through his mind during it. You get more of an insight on his feelings for her and you will love/swoon all over him after reading it. 

There are some new twists that McGuire threw in there and they were unexpected but awesome! I can't tell you what they are of course, but they just add to the magic of this story! 
Not only did I get to love Travis and Abby again, I got to fall in love with the other characters as well. Shep and America were a lot more prominent in Travis' life than I originally thought and it was a pleasant surprise. 

BUT.. The best part about this book was the EPILOGUE!! 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you get an EPILOGUE and it is beyond words how amazing it is. Everything is brought full circle and it ended beautifully

I Laughed, I cried, I re-lived one of my favorite books through Travis' eyes and I am in complete love/awe with this book.

Some Quotes:

location 750 of ARC:
    "Nah. I'm going to see if I can get Abby on the back of my bike again. it's the closest I can get to the inside of her thighs"

location 2379 of ARC:
     "Please come back," I said quietly. She couldn't hear me but it didn't stop me from wishing she would come and save me from the terrible pain I felt without her there."

location 4349 of ARC:
      "I wonder what mom would say if she were here", I said. Dad pulled back, his eyes wet with happy tears, "She'd say...." ;)

I give it a 5/5 and if you haven't already, you need to PRE-ORDER it! Here is the link to Amazon for it:

Wanted to have a little FUN with all of you soooo... 

If I were to cast Travis and Abby in Beautiful Disaster here are the people I would cast: 

If only Justin was a little younger he would be PERFECT but I'm going to cast him any way because he looks HOT in this picture ;)

Jennifer Lawerence, just because I LOVE HER! 

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

My Life Next Door..

This book started off great! It made me laugh, sigh, and kept me entertained. And then it had the worst ending known to man and I wanted to scream ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Here is the description from Amazon:

A gorgeous debut about family, friendship, first romance, and how to be true to one person you love without betraying another

“One thing my mother never knew, and would disapprove of most of all, was that I watched the Garretts. All the time.”

The Garretts are everything the Reeds are not. Loud, numerous, messy, affectionate. And every day from her balcony perch, seventeen-year-old Samantha Reed wishes she was one of them . . . until one summer evening, Jase Garrett climbs her terrace and changes everything. As the two fall fiercely in love, Jase's family makes Samantha one of their own. Then in an instant, the bottom drops out of her world and she is suddenly faced with an impossible decision. Which perfect family will save her? Or is it time she saved herself?

A dreamy summer read, full of characters who stay with you long after the story is over.

My Thoughts

I was having a hard time deciding on exactly what to write about this book. I didn't know if I should have said I completely hated the book just because of the ending or say that I loved it but hated the ending. It is a toss up between the two, I am still neutral but I promised a review on this and there is one thing I do not break.. and that is a promise!!

Samantha is a very likable character. She is sweet, funny, sarcastic, beautiful, hard working etc. You could relate to her and even though her mother was a snobby hot mess she never acted like she was too good for everyone, she was just Samantha. 
She lived her life on the inside looking out on the world because her mother tried to shelter her and keep her as busy as she could manage with school activities, school, social engagements etc. Samantha did not need to work because her mother provided well for her but she worked two jobs over the summer to pay her own way in the world. One of her favorite things to do was to sit outside her bedroom and watch her neighbors, the Garrets. 
They were a rambunctious family with 8 children, age ranges from 1-20, but they were well-mannered, sweet, and hard working children. Each of them had their own personality that added to the richness of the story and made it more interesting to read. Jase was the 17 year old in the family that unbeknownst to Samantha saw her staring at their family almost every night and he also watched her, while she watched them. He finally went to talk to her one night when she was sitting out on her roof and they formed a friendship. Jase's mother of course recruited Samantha to help her babysit when she needed someone and that is how Samantha was introduced to the world of the Garretts. Not only did Samantha fall in love with Jase but she fell in love with his family. She saw how a family could be and how much love there was between parents and their children. She didn't have that in her own home so she craved it while watching them. 
Of course the plot twister, I never saw coming! It was different from what I was expecting, and I actually liked that the author made it so different. Samantha's world gets turned upside down and she is now altered, her whole world gets shifted and she is now seeing things less in black & white and more in gray and different shading. She doesn't know whether to do the right thing and hurt people she loves or keep quiet and hurt people she loves. It was a lose-lose situation for Samantha and the readers are left feeling very sympathetic towards her and wondering what descision they would have made in that same situation. 

Like I stated before, the story ended rather abruptly and with no second book in sight I have to say that I am upset. The author left so many stories open, I had to create my own ending for them and at that point I was so mad that I pictured the whole town blowing up and everyone dying... the end!! When I finally calmed down from the disappointment I was still feeling bereft but I decided that I won't let the ending ruin the WHOLE book, I will just warn everyone that the ending will leave you hanging and hoping there will be a second book to finish off the characters that were left with their stories unfinished! 
So hopefully everyone that reads this book will harass the author enough to get her to write an epilogue, chapter, second book.. SOMETHING that will complete this book and make it whole because as of right now it is incomplete.  

I can't decided what to rate this book but I will recommend it to others because it is overall a good story and if you want to check it out for yourself, here it is on Amazon: